Monday, November 19, 2012

Does a joint' ensure you remain joint?

There are so many accounts we have open at any one time, and it makes me wonder, is it better to have joint accounts with your spouse, or better to treat it like the principles of church and state. I mean, we are from Venus and they're from Mars.
Check with the World Printed on It

So, do joint accounts save marriages?

It's been said, Facebook is currently cited in 50% of divorce cases. It's no wonder, when you think about how many people one can come into contact with on a daily basis (i.e. all of the old flames you never thought you'd see again.) Mix that with a vulnerable person bogged down by the monotony of their household, yearning for a little attention & you've got a danger zone!!

We'd all love to think we can play around with temptation & remain in control. However, everybody knows the old saying, you play with fire, you're going to get burnt. . .

So is setting up a joint account the solution? When your husband wants to spout off a status update about the football game, or you want to brag about the yummy dessert you whipped up, your friends & family can just take guesses as to who is doing this posting? Private messages are essentially between you, recipient and spouse. Who knows, it may come off as overprotective, overbearing, or even elude to a jealous nature. . . but who are we to judge? In the end, I have no problem being overprotective with my family and anything that tries to come between us. Also, we live in the most transparent age to date, and opportunity is all to opportune!

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I wonder how this relates to other accounts as well, such as our checking accounts. Many couples have their paychecks disbursed into a joint account, which they "jointly" use to pay bills and for daily expenses. While others find it reasonable to keep those accounts separate, simply agree whose paying what bills, and shuffle money together when necessary. Does one feel their spouse's earnings are inaccessible? Does a stay-at-home mom feel inferior when she has to ask for grocery money? If a husband is coming home with a new i-phone & his wife is counting pennies till the end of the month, somethings gotta give. Right? However, what if he saved up for that i-phone, while she bought Starbucks & cigarettes each day . . . . maybe this is a fair method.

Even though I'm still a nuptial newbie, I feel like eliminating potential questions up front can save countless amounts of stress, resentment and emotional roLLer-coASTers. When you know up front that your wife spent $300 at Target and that female friend from high school thought twice before "poking" you, you cut down on a lot of questions. You're not left wondering if your partner has your best interest at heart, or if you're on the same page. 

This came to mind because my husband and I have separate FB accounts. I don't foresee any issues, but I thought, hmm, maybe it would be cute and more socially acceptable if we had a joint account. As is, we know each other's passwords and neither feels threatened by any aspect of it. There again, we keep separate checking accounts, but we have online access to each others' and the authority to withdraw, transfer, deposit as we see fit. He can send more deposits my way anytime!

I know everybody has to find a way that works for them, but I wonder how many desire to live jointly, but for risk of being thought jealous or controlling, suffice with living their two separate lives side by side.

To each his own, but peace-of-mind is priceless.