This seems to be the "appropriate" question for an expecting woman of 39 weeks. At least, that's the most frequently asked question.
The more I think about it, it's just an ugly thing to ask. What is one to say? Nah, labor is going to be a breeze & I've got this motherhood thing figured out! ......HA! ....... Or, do you contemplate all of the many facets of childbirth and motherhood that are about to be thrust upon you and start to panic, listing the infinitive list of things one is nervous about. That sure sounds like a great idea!
Frankly, I'm not letting it ruffle my feathers. Quite honestly, I'm still living in ignorant bliss and have absolutely no idea what is about to come at me! I've read and watched videos and read and went to classes and read some more in preparation for what this new life may hold.
All I'm really sure of is labor is going to be hell, but it will all be over in less than 48 hours. Surely, I can do anything for 48 hours! We're delivering at 1 of the top 10 hospitals in the nation, so I'm confident I'll be under great care and supervision. Most important of all, I have faith that God has a plan, and that is for me to mother this child, so a lifetime lies ahead of us after the initial task of getting baby girl here.
After that, well it's anybody's guess! I will surely doubt myself more often than not, and continue pumping myself full of as much information as possible regarding proper care of our newborn.
Then, somewhere there in the middle and hopefully at the beginning and for a worthwhile portion of each day, I'll realize that I'm only human, and God has Blessed me with this opportunity because He knows I can handle it. That's when I'll let all of the anxiety drift right out the window, and I'll sit back, relax and simply be in awe of the little person we've created.
I hope more than anything, that my husband and I will relish in every little smile, every giggle and celebrate every milestone . . . . not getting caught up in the stress of the inconsolable crying, the financial strains on our budget, or the sleep deprivation that will surely ensue. I hope we can look past those, in the moment occurrences, to cherish this beautiful gift and not allow one day to pass us without realizing how truly Blessed we are......
So, am I nervous? Hell yeah! Is it going to stop me? Not a chance! I'm definitely not going to lose sleep over it. I have plenty of sleepless nights in my future . . . & I can't wait!!
